THE OUTCAST

 

"THE OUTCAST"
BY HAFIZ MUHAMMAD DAUD

    Torn between two worlds, between two identities and at the same time having no identity at all, belonging to none of the groups of the society. Such is the life of Fatima Joseph. An interesting name for you too perhaps but a name for the poor girl who lost everything because of this name. This is a story about the struggle of a woman, belief and religion, Pakistani society, and how it made the life of a perfectly fit woman capable of anything a living hell.

    Love, a very beautiful word and an even prettier feeling but yet something that is looked down upon here, one who loves is considered a sinner and banished forever from society. A word that instead of making lives beautiful has torn apart the lives of many families, not because love is but because people are. Love is also what gave birth to Fatima’s story. Fatima’s father Joseph Charles, the son of the local priest fell in love with Mirriam the daughter of Molvi Sahab. Interracial marriages can’t cause as much stir as inter-religious marriages.

    Even the marriages of a couple who belong to the same religion but different sect. Religion was never meant to be hard but it was made hard for Mirriam and Joseph. The knowledge of belonging to different religions was there, the fear of being found out was there but when does love Never let any other emotion be superior to itself. Life went on, from stealing glances at each other in the street to a meeting on tightly packed rooftops of old Lahore with bright dots of kites above their head as if shielding them from the wrath of the society that was inevitable going to fall upon them just as the kite must be taken down when it gets dark.

    One cold evening of December when everyone was tucked in bed, Joseph and Mirriam stood on the rooftop, He looked at her and felt his heart skip a beat. He had never seen someone more beautiful, her full lips, defined cheekbones, and perfectly round big eyes. He was in love the first time he saw her but he felt himself falling for her every time he looked at her. He couldn’t resist, he pulled her in his arms and kissed her forehead softly. “I love you so much Mirriam” he whispered into the crisp breeze that blew her long hair away from her face.

    Mirriam frowned and remained silent. “What is it my love” He inquired as a panic slowly tried to crawl its way into his throat? “You know baba is talking about my marriage these days” She said softly “I remember you told me that” He replied now frowning as well “well, today some people came to ask for my hand in marriage”. He held her hand “this hand is mine and you are mine” Mirriam squeezed Joseph’s hand in reassurance “I am but what are we going to do, we can’t get married. They will never let us, and I can’t lose you”. She buried her face in his chest and began to sob “We are perfectly legal to marry in court and that’s what we will do, nobody can separate us”. He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her back till she calmed down. “We’ll make it work” he whispered into the night.

    A week later, Joseph and Mirriam got married in court with their few friends at the witness. On their way out of the court, Joseph held Mirriam’s hand and looked into her eyes “I know we did not take our vows but I want to take this vow that I will love and cherish you in sickness and in health, in happiness and in sorrow and I will stay with you till death do us apart”. They couldn’t be happier. Taking the decision to get married and doing the act was not hard. The hard part was yet to come. They decided to keep it a secret till Joseph can make arrangements for them to leave.

    Mirriam kept putting off her father whenever he talked about marriage till the day, he almost put an engagement ring on her finger forcefully that she yelled that she was married to someone already. That was the last straw. All hell broke loose. Mirriam was thrown out of her house and Joseph ran to her house from his own which was a few houses away, he picked her up and held her. It became obvious who was she married to. Joseph was disowned by his family as well. There was a lot of shouting, curses, and cries. The whole neighborhood witnessed the ordeal. This was not how Mirriam imagined leaving her house as a bride but Joseph’s strong arms around her were enough to keep her safe from the whole world.

    Life went on as it always has. Joseph and Mirriam settled into what is now known as new or modern Lahore. They were happy and soon they were happier because they had a daughter who they named Fatima Joseph. Fatima was a lovely bright child from her birth. She filled their life with such happiness that they could have ever imagined. At the age of 17, Fatima was old enough to stay at home by herself.

    Although her parents always worried she assured them that she will be fine. She was a responsible child, too mature for her age. She had the gorgeous looks of her mother and the mature brain and personality of her father. She was the perfect child. It was a perfectly complete family but nothing can stay perfect in this world for a long time. On one Sunday evening, when her parents had to go on dinner with their friends, Fatima decided to stay home. She thought she will order Broadway and binge watch Netflix. She kissed her parents on their forehead before they left, something that she always did before they left or when she came home from somewhere. Promised to be safe and made them promise to be safe.

    She snuggled into her comfortable bed and began to browse after placing her order. 45 minutes went by and her phone rang, thinking it was the delivery guy, she answered. “Miss Fatima?” a rough manly voice came, “yes?” she inquired, still slightly confused. “I’m sorry but your parents met an accident” the man continued but for Fatima that was all that she could hear, she couldn’t register what had just happened. “Hello?” the man asked for how many times who knows.

    Finally, she answered and took the details where were they. Having no one to call or take along, she ran desperately to her neighbor who was like an aunt to her, between sobs she told her what happened and she took Fatima to the crash site. The car was a complete wreck and in there lay her parents, surprisingly still holding hands somehow. A drunk driver had run the red light and hit them from the side, they had died on the spot. Fatima’s world was torn, turned upside down, the world was a blur and all she could focus on were those two hands holding each other. They had stayed true to their vows.

    Everyone noticed that there were no relatives of the deceased at the funeral and they asked but Fatima refused to answer anyone. Her neighbor after a month of taking care of her suggested that Fatima tries to reach out to her relatives. Surely, they will support her. She tried to reach out to them as she knew where they all were, she had never talked to them but she knew all about them through social media.

    She tried to reach out to them but they never responded to her call or text messages. With no other option, her neighbor took her to visit them and they realized their mistake as soon as they introduced themselves. On her father’s side she was called a child out of wedlock, on her mother’s side she was called a filthy Christian who is probably characterless as it doesn’t matter for them who they sleep with. They returned home after being banished from both sides just as her parents had been so many years ago. Nothing had changed, no one had changed.

    Fatima completed her bachelor's through her insurance and by working part-time as a writer. During this period, she realized that her family wasn’t the only one who didn’t accept her. The whole society didn’t approve of her. Her name Fatima Joseph stood out like a sore thumb everywhere, it made heads turn whenever it was said aloud, and more than often she found people with their heads together and looking at her. If that wasn’t enough, she was objectified as well in interviews when it was found out that she was an orphan and looking for a job at such a young age, she was thought to be someone abandoned by her family and desperate for money. Yet, through all this, she still managed to keep her head up straight and get through it all. She felt uncomfortable in her own skin, she despised the whole world, she hated stepping out of the house even for groceries but that is what her life had become, what society had made her be.

    As Fatima made her way through life one day at a time, she began to wonder what she did wrong to deserve this life. None of it was her fault, was it all just because her parents belonged to different religions? But she was a pious Muslim. She never skipped a prayer unless she had no choice. She had been taught both religions but she was always inclined towards Islam. She found nothing wrong with Christianity but her heartfelt that it belonged to Allah.

    Praying five times a day made more sense to her than praying just once a week on Sunday when you had time according to your own convenience because for her that isn’t how God worked. God wanted you to choose him over your life again and again every single day, God wanted you to show your devotion towards him every day and make time for Him and not just pray when you have spare time when you have nothing to do.

    Those were her reasons. It made her wonder that even though she understood Islam and believed in Allah and did everything she could to be a Muslim that Allah wanted her to be, she was still treated as an outcast. She didn’t feel safe in her own house but what choice did she have. She contemplated changing her name but that meant giving away the identity her parents had given her and she could not bring herself to throw away something her parents had given her, the parents whom she loved more than life itself.

    She promised herself that if her parents did not give up on their dream despite belonging to different religions then she would never even think about giving up. She will take the legacy of her parents and work till the thinking of this society changes. She swore that even if she had to work till her last breath and it only changed the thinking of one person and made them accept other communities that are living in Pakistan, she will do it and she did it.

    She led a movement that talked about every religion, encouraged people to learn and accept other religions as equals. With great struggle and many set back even lashes from extremists upon a woman leading a movement, she kept working and moving forward. At night when alone, she prayed to Allah “Oh Allah! You know what’s in my heart and only you are my hope. You are all that I have and you are all that I need, I believe in you and I ask for help only from you, give me the strength to stay strong. Amen”.

    It is said that if you believe in something, believe in it with your whole heart and mind, believe in it hard enough and it just might become true. Fatima believed to bring about a change and her belief became a reality. Soon she was a social worker and activist who was working for minorities. She became quite famous but all the fame meant nothing to her, all she cared about were people like her, their rights, and their lives. She worked endlessly day and night. She never married, not because she didn’t want to but because there was so much to do in this society that she never got around to it. She kept working and working till she could no more. She operated from her home till her last breath and in the end, all she could think about was that her family was going to be whole again.